A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the early years of
this
generation,
oil
resources
were the key point of development.
Therefore
, many countries took a lot of money to look for it. It caused the
resources
to decrease significantly. Some people think
this
would be a good time to find the new
energy
to be the replacement. I think the opinion has a point.
Oil
as fuel has a limited amount to use and the accompanying
pollution
emissions cause a lot of problems.
Oil
is made from fossils. It needs to be mine from the earth.
Moreover
, there are limited places where we can discover
oil
. It is a challenge to develop the
oil
resources
or to keep the natural
resources
. Even more, the
pollution
emissions
such
as greenhouse air
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
other solutions to fix the problem.
On the other hand
, developing new sources,
such
as clean
energy
, solar, wind, nuclear and hydropower ,could entirely replace fossil fuels.
For example
, solar
energy
is an unlimited amount to Earth. Because the source is different. Most of the clean
energy
is unlimited to use which means each person who has the equipment to store the
energy
and use the
resources
. It not only avoids emitting
pollution
but is
also
friendly to nature. In conclusion, I prefer developing clean
energy
as a new
sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
source
show examples
of power to replace
oil
fuel. The reason is it is more kind to nature because it has almost zero
pollution
emissions and developing the source would not have a bad impact on the environment.
Submitted by sam658769 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance the essay, focus on crafting a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. This will guide the reader on what to expect in your discussion, thereby increasing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
When transitioning between paragraphs, use more explicit connecting phrases. This will improve the logical flow and help the reader understand how each part contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
Integrate more specific examples to support your main points. This not only strengthens your argument but also makes your essay more engaging and informative for the reader.
task achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion by addressing potential counterarguments. This will demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the issue and enrich your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: