In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?
In the modern era, open spaces and public parks have been removed and replaced with
gardens
where individuals can plant
their own vegetables
and fruit
. This
writer believes that having gardens
will encourage consuming healthy and connect people
together outweighing the drawback that this
will harm the environment
.
The most advantageous factor of having public parks and open spaces changed into gardens
is that it can help residents
encourage healthy
. Replace the word
health
In other words
, people
can avoid eating unclean fruit
outside the markets and eat fresh fruit
and vegetables
that they grow by themselves without worrying whether the fruit
will have chemicals in it or not. From prior knowledge, normally people
just go outside to the markets, and buy fruits
and vegetables
to eat, not usually aware of their origins like where the sellers get it to sell, bring home eat and get poisoned so it is better and healthier to have a garden to plant
own fruits
. Thus
, having a garden give local residents
fresh fruits
and vegetables
to eat is necessary.
Connecting people
through community activities must also
be considered. It must be recognised that public gardens
will gather citizens from around that place to plant
their fruit
in one place and this
will help people
communicate with each other to show each other how to plant
if they do not know and share different kinds of fruits
with each other. As a result
, residents
get closer together and increase beauty rapport. Thereby, having a good relationship with neighborhoods
is potential.
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
However
, growing fruits
and vegetables
require fertilizers. They believe that using fertilizers will pollute the environment
and how
Correct word choice
that how
people
take care of fruits
will maybe harm the environment
. This
may be true but the government can encourage residents
to plant
organic fruit
without using fertilizers and if they do not know how to, then
teach them. Consequently
, the environment
will not be damaged.
In conclusion, the advantages of new gardens
in cities outweigh the disadvantages of toxic the environment
.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
To enhance your essay, make sure to fully elaborate on topics with specific examples and data, if applicable. This will bolster the persuasiveness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay and make it easier to follow your points.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and structure to ensure clarity. Simple errors can sometimes confuse the reader and detract from the overall quality of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present, which provides a clear structure to your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed and acknowledged a counterpoint to your argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
Your essay contains multiple relevant points that support your main argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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