IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that it is good to share information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world
Although
, there is no doubt that
research
 and development is the key to the future, it is important to consider, the outcome of sharing the information. Some people believe that scientific exploration should not be transmitted around the world without restrain. I support the statement that it is viable to share facts with others, especially medical data. On one hand, people who advocate the restriction of freely shared data may argue that the precise study could be misused for heinous acts.
This
 is because, the fragility of the data, people with destructive minds could weaponised the
research
 and cause damage to the economy and peace of nations.
For example
, Nuclear power, which is mostly acquired by wealthy nations,
however
, sharing studies with other nations could be more life-threatening than putting it into good use like energy creation.
In contrast
, if
such
 highly vulnerable data kept as secret, there would no more threats to worry about and the world could acquire peace over bad circumstances.
On the other hand
, I would argue that humanity comes
first
 above all and
research
 should be spread without any constraints. The latter argument which many human activists would agree that, the medical
research
, which is developed for certain rare medical conditions should be shared all around the globe for betterment of habitat.
For instance
, yellow fever, which was well known deadly plague, spread around many continents took lives and after the 100th attempts over finding cures, scientists shared it freely around the planet to help other people. If,
instead
,
such
 knowledge has kept as secret or sold to certain rich countries as sake of security, world would have had faced more fatalities than ever in mankind and underdeveloped countries, would have chaotic situations of life saving drugs. In conclusion, while keeping study hidden of valuable and vital data might be feasible for peace, I believe security countermeasures can be taken and we should share
research
 freely because it is righteous for mankind and humanity in my view, is paramount.
Submitted by maxxled01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: