childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world.Because of this,some people think the adverts for fast food should not be allowed in schools and colleges.

In recent years

Accept space

childhood

obesitty

more than average fatness

obesity

has become a hazardous

issue

Use synonyms

for new generations.

some

Suggestion

Some

people

recommends

Suggestion

recommend

have recommended

are recommending

that

Accept space

advertisments

a public promotion of some product or service

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

283 words

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childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world.Because of this,some people think the adverts for fast food should not be allowed in schools and colleges.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that involve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common.” Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.