In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #crime

Criminal activities have shown growth in most parts of the world. There are several

reasons but

Accept comma addition

reasons, but

in my opinion two major reasons are lack of formal

education

and unemployment and they are related to each other. A recent study shows that

crime rate

Suggestion

the crime rate

has declined by approximately 30% in those countries where better employment opportunities are available like South Korea, UAE and Qatar. To succeed in creating better job opportunities the government should introduce right policies and implement them without any discrimination.

For instance

, the UAE has introduced a new system that makes it easy to start your own business and have strict

labor

a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages

labour

law to protect employee rights which ultimately helps to divert young people from any kind of criminal activities. Another solution which can play an important role in preventing

people especially

Accept comma addition

people, especially

youngsters from indulging in any kind of illegal activities is formal

education

. China is the right example for that.

Recently Tim

Accept comma addition

Recently, Tim

Cook CEO

Accept comma addition

Cook, CEO

of Apple Corporation said in his interview that China holds the biggest pool of skilled

labor

a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages

labour

than any other country.

This

was only possible through introducing free formal technical

education

policy to their young people and providing

onsite

taking place or located at the site

on-site

experience at the same time. People can

also

play an important role in

reduction

Suggestion

the reduction

of crime rate by being more vigilant and responsible in their

neighborhood

a surrounding or nearby region

neighbourhood

. To conclude, lack of

education

and employment opportunities are the main reasons for the increase in the crime rate. By providing vocational

education

for free or at affordable rates and by creating more employment opportunities the government can address

this

problem to a great extent.

Submitted by erik.pyanto on Thu Nov 28 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic disparity
propensity
recidivism
deterrent
rehabilitative
judicial system
corruption
socioeconomic
alienation
stigmatization
decriminalization
enforcement
gentrification
preemptive measures
intervention strategies

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In many Countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of Crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?

Topic: Obesity is a major healthy problem. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, health care and education are only partially funded by the government. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for covering the full cost of these services. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree of disagree?