IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think money is the best gift to give it to youngsters, while others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #youngsters
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Providing gifts to our beloved persons are vital in a healthy relationship. But, few people claim that, providing
money
Use synonyms
 is a best present for the young ones, whereas others proclaim that there are other efficient methods to gift youngsters. Thereby, I agree with the latter viewpoint, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall explain both sides of the arguments by analysing it. On the one hand, compelling pieces of evidence prove that there are a plethora of ways exist to.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the paramount and most effective way is to provide something which they have been longing for, while
this
Linking Words
 could be even more effective than providing a
money
Use synonyms
, which shows them the way you care for them.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a father presents a bicycle, which his son asked for a year before, it makes him to become pleasantly surprised,
hence
Linking Words
, the long wait shows the real value of that item where he keeps it even safer.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it helps to retain their special bond as well as show the true meaning of a present.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, people across the board states that, giving a cash could be the most appropriate grants for the adult.
First
Linking Words
 of all, juveniles can use it to buy anything they want,
this
Linking Words
 make them very happy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, while providing currency,
this
Linking Words
 imparts knowledge about fiscal savings and they could even learn how to handle it well, which would be highly beneficial for them in future.
However
Linking Words
, there is concern about squandering the
money
Use synonyms
 on unwanted items. In conclusion, it is true that giving
money
Use synonyms
 to the youngsters is one the methods of gifts, but, in my opinion, there are others forms of presenting birthday gifts which could show them the exact value of the item. Ergo, it's contrary can be overlooked or curbed.
Submitted by valliananthi2101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: