Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Some individuals claim that if kids have enough freedom to make their own routine choices like food, entertainment, and clothes, it is similar to the outcome in the society of people who just think about issues which impact them.
Usually,
children
like to select their own options because they are exploring their surroundings. If parents allow their children
to have their own selection for simple matters, kids will have more confidence in people and they have a feeling of independence. This
can help them to know themselves. However
, of course, parents should pay attention to their children
’s choices because these selections may not suit them. For instance
, drinking alcoholic drinks is one of these issues that parents should notice about it. Because it may cause destructive effects when they are teenagers.
The last
example is a sample of cases to show that some behaviours in the family can make foundations in kids’ fortune. I think older people must improve their knowledge of how to behave. The key point is to be more friendly with them. It can make trustworthy in their relationship and they try to keep it. Following
this
, when the children
get older, they should know whom they can rely on. Otherwise
, everybody can influence kids in decision-making in every situation.
To sum up
, allowing children
to make everyday choices is a good way to improve their personality first of their lives but it needs to take care of them and provide situations for them to consult with us on different topics.Submitted by brightstargalaxy on
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task achievement
You should work on supporting your main points with more specific examples and relevant details. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from better logical structure. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas develop logically throughout the essay.
general
Improve your grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity. There are several areas where sentence structures and word choices could be improved for better readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a solid framework.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced discussion of both views, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?