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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

#people #children #work
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Although
 paid
job
 is thought by some to be a useful experience for children, other people consider that it can be detrimental. Children can learn about earning bill and gain independence from doing paid
work
, but there are
also
 drawbacks to be taken into account.
Firstly
, one benefit of children doing paid employment is that they understand the value of salary.
This
also
 teaches them not to waste bill as they realise the
work
 needed to earn it.
Secondly
, having a paid
job
 is advantageous because children take their
first
 steps in learning how to manage and save money. Many older children,
for instance
, have a part time
job
 in order to save up for something they would
otherwise
 be unable to afford.
Thirdly
, working teaches children responsibility and independence. These skills help children to develop into self-supporting adults ready to enter society and the
work
 force.
On the other hand
, one problem, when children have a
job
 is that it potentially exposes them to exploitation through slave labour.
For example
, in some developing countries children are made to
work
 full time, but due to their age are not protected by law.
As a result
, they are paid negligible wages for
work
 that can be tough, manual
work
. Another possible issue is that the time children spend working prevents them from focusing on their school
work
. Having a good education is the key to a successful future, so being employed as a child can result in a poor academic performance which can be harmful in the long run. In conclusion, while children can benefit from some
work
 experience, it can
also
 lead to exploitation or lower grades at school.
Submitted by mitchel6018atlas on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
What to do next:
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