IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university
Work
 and Travel are two essential experiences in human life. In a few regions of the world, youngsters are suggested to explore different areas or have professional experience after secondary
education
 and before joining tertiary
education
.
This
 essay will analyse, both benefits and limitations pertaining to
this
 notion.
Firstly
, primary advantages that students can gain at
this
 phase due to
work
 or travel are, being responsible and learning Time and money management. Children can gain abundant knowledge due to practical
work
 and thereby, are groomed to be more accountable.
For Instance
, In Japan, students are placed in various kinds of
work
 before they enter higher studies so that they become wiser at early stages of life.
Furthermore
, they build aspects
such
 as finance and Time management which are essential factors to lead a great life. To illustrate, it is reported by the Economic Times that per capita income of a region in Australia is very high as individuals have been provided an opportunity to earn at an early age, which resulted in making them realizing the value of these aspects and thereby they are disciplined while they spend Time and Money. Overall, there are marvellous benefits associated when one is encouraged to earn or travel at a younger age.
On the other hand
,
this
 can be detrimental as it comprises chances to hinder one’s professional growth. If individuals lack self-control, and are attracted to earning money they may lack academic concentration and
as a result
 may suffer from fetching poor grades. Another primary limitation is,
this
 may encourage students to discontinue their
education
 and probably they may compromise on a potential opportunity which was awaiting after their higher studies.
Hence
, there are threats to professional and personal growth if students are allowed to travel or
work
 before they complete
education
. In conclusion,
this
 essay discussed both advantages and disadvantages of opting to
work
 or travelling to new places before pursuing higher studies. While the benefits are overwhelming, there are
also
 adverse ramifications associated with
this
 ideology.
Submitted by Kavitha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: