It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

It is generally stated that

travel

can broaden the

mind

. There are some good and bad aspects need to be considered by the idea of travelling. Personally, it is true for opening

mind

Suggestion

minds

travelling but

Accept comma addition

travelling, but

sometimes it is

also

not utterly accurate. At

first

, it requires us to have a good money for the

trip

or at least enough money to pay for the transportation. In fact, we could not go anywhere with our empty wallet.

Secondly

, in order to reduce risks from travelling, we should have some intended researches about the place we are going to

travel

because the more awareness we prepare, the less risks could happen during the

trip

. The tricks from the local people could be avoided if the

good

any substance that can be metabolized by an animal to give energy and build tissue

food

preparation is made. Albeit there are some disadvantages which are listed above, there still have many advantages need to be concerned about. The

firstly

significant benefit is to expand our individual view and gain knowledge by making a practical

travel

. Taking a crystal example from the former leader of Vietnamese in over the previous seven decades whose name Ho Chi Minh. He had

travelled to too

Suggestion

travelled too

many countries around the world to find the best way of the revolution and he impressively succeeded. A good example to illustrate the idea of "

travel

broadens the

mind

Furthermore

, by travelling to other regions, the connections between us could be enhanced as well. It is so true if the

traveler

a person who changes location

traveller

is an extrovert. It means they absolutely gain extra benefits by making connections to the people where they meet during their

trip

In addition

travel

could

also

help us release

stresses

Suggestion

stress

from our life or from our work. An excited

trip

is the best way for us either to get a good mood or to generate new energy.

Finally

, it is personally true in the statement that said

travel

could

broadens

Suggestion

broaden

the

mind

. But it should be contained with a suitable preparation and an

intensive

Suggestion

intense

attention.

Submitted by dangvinh1212 on Sat Jan 04 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

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