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Band 4

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you disagree?

#access #internet #media #websites #children #situations #adults #limit
With the advancement in technology,
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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 and social media websites have become an integral part of
children
 and
thus
 sometimes, they are exposed to terrible situations. Adults should monitor the usage of these sites and
thus
 put a limit on
it
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them
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. I completely agree with it and will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
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 same in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, there are many people who in lieu of becoming popular upload their videos of performing some
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
 stunts. Many
children
 get influenced and
thus
 try to imitate the same, which in turn can have terrible consequences.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 they sometimes try to post their selfie by standing over a bridge, which can have fatal
ramification
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ramifications
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.
Thus
 adults should follow a prudent approach here by guiding them and
inform
Wrong verb form
informing
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 them about its serious outcomes.
Moreover
, there are some terrorist organisations
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 use
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media platforms to manipulate
the
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apply
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children
 by spreading violent content and
instigate
Wrong verb form
instigating
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 them to join their
campaign
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campaigns
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. Many
children
, being not aware of their real intentions started following their footsteps.
Furthermore
, they join these forums and become a part of their activities, which sabotage their professional
as well as
 personal lives. Adults should closely monitor their activities and provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
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comfortable environment for communication.
To conclude
, to deal with the gloomy influence of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and social media, it is imperative to make the
children
 generally aware
about
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of
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 the critical aftermaths of its continuous usage and the grownups should take the initiative to restrain
children
of
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from
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 its excessive usage to prevent the
occurring
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occurrence
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 of
mishap
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mishaps
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.
Submitted by namu1307 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dangerous situations
  • limit access to the internet
  • inappropriate content
  • online predators
  • physical and mental health
  • monitoring and guiding
  • online safety
  • school curriculum
What to do next:
Look at other essays: