Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types pf progress are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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At present, the government heavily prioritizes the financial development of the country, and

people

Use synonyms

criticize that there are more important factors

such

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education

Use synonyms

and culture to be promoted, which are equally important. Both these views will be discussed, followed by a conclusion. On the one hand,

people

Use synonyms

believe that a quality

education

Use synonyms

is important because it fosters creativity and analytic thinking.

As a result

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, when teenagers mature, they will have the knowledge and skills to overcome difficult situations in the future.

Additionally

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this

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leads to great innovations as they have creative minds.

For example

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, graduates of Griffith University have created new innovations and guided them to overcome an economic crisis that occurred in 1990.

This

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symbolizes the personal skills and ideas that

education

Use synonyms

contributes.

Moreover

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, attention to culture hinders. Customs and traditions which passed through several decades not only highlight arts, songs, beliefs, and cuisine but

also

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shape identity and influence how individuals interact with each other and the environment.

Due to

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a lack of knowledge about culture,

people

Use synonyms

act

selfish

Change the word

selfishly

show examples

and uncontrollably when they interact with others.

On the other hand

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, the government focusing on economic growth will contribute to investing in the global market.

For instance

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, many countries are already bankrupt because future plans for economic success are not considered.

Furthermore

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, introducing the right schemes will diminish poor infrastructure. Many countries have low-quality transportation systems, healthcare, and quality

education

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Therefore

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, if the country has a skyrocketed economy, there will be an enormous amount of industries where citizens will have greater career opportunities.

For instance

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, the USA contributed 100 trillion dollars to building hospitals, which made lives safer and created approximately 100 million new jobs. In conclusion, even though other aspects lead to the development of personal skills like creativity, maturity, and the right behaviours in society

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however

Add the comma(s)

, however

show examples

, personally, I believe that

government's

Correct article usage

the government's

show examples

involvement in economic progress is more prominent as it leads to overcoming poor infrastructure, greater profession, and invest at the global market, which will help

people

Use synonyms

to enhance their living standard.

Witharana Senesh Rasinda WickramasingheThu Sep 26 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses both sides of the argument, try to provide more balance and depth to each perspective. Expand on each point with additional examples or arguments.

task achievement

The main points are supported but some of the examples could be more directly relevant to strengthen the argument. Consider ensuring that all examples directly support the point being made.

coherence cohesion

Strive for better integration between paragraphs and ensure that the ideas flow more naturally from one to the next. Use more transitional phrases and sentences to link ideas together smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Watch for minor inaccuracies and minor awkward expressions. They do not significantly detract from understanding, but polishing your language could elevate your essay.

introduction conclusion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the discussion well.

task achievement

You have included relevant points about the importance of education, culture and economic progress, showing a good understanding of the topic.

logical structure

The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs and a coherent progression of ideas, contributing to ease of understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic progress
standard of living
employment rates
public services
foreign investment
global standing
sustainable development
social progress
healthcare
social equality
content populace
environmental sustainability
detrimental effects
quality of life
cultural advancements
technological advancements
innovation

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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types pf progress are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. 1. Why do some people work harder? 2. Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Some people sat that it is a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and/or weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.