Some people believe that schools should include competitive sports as a subject while others believe that it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an argument that centres on sports competitions
of
Suggestion
for
children at school by which to
taught
Suggestion
teach
as a main class or it has nothing positive affects to kids. Even though, that can show negative side to them, in my opinion, I highly believe that competitive physical activities need to young people. On the one hand, people say that let children know about competitiveness might give bad effects to them.
To begin
Linking Words
with, competition can be hurt to their mind of co-operation with friend, if they learn about race before
collabolation
act of working jointly
collaboration
with others, in the future kids will be trusted nobody.
In addition
Linking Words
, if young ones cannot be together the society will be collapsed very soon.
As a result
Linking Words
, children cannot have friends and be alone getting
futher
to or at a greater extent or degree or a more advanced stage ('further' is used more often than 'farther' in this abstract sense)
further
farther
father
and become
a
Suggestion
an
island that will be
very big risk
Suggestion
a very big risk
to the society in the
futher
a male parent (also used as a term of address to your father)
father
footer
further
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Japan, they are
strugling
engaged in a struggle to overcome especially poverty or obscurity
struggling
strangling
issue about Hkikomori, which is people who just stay
at
Suggestion
in
the own room because they felt they are looser them self.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I highly believe that competitive sports are very helpful to learn something for their future.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can be learnt about teamwork with
friend
Suggestion
friends
a friend
, most sports are usually teamwork, so kids will know how to team going and their
rolls
the actions and activities assigned to or required or expected of a person or group
roles
in the group.
For example
Linking Words
, under 20 years old football
team
Suggestion
teams
in my country was very issue about their school life because they are helping friends more than others and always trying to do together with people who around them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, children can be more healthy,
commanly
under normal conditions
commonly
sports make them physically and mentally stronger, which is one of the most important
thing
Suggestion
things
for kids.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it is one
of method for finding
Suggestion
method for finding
of methods for finding
of methods methods for finding
of the method for finding
their future or dreams, if they are trained well they could be a sports star of course not everyone but the rates gone higher. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
learn competitive
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
from school could show negative side, in my point of view I am convinced that there is
more positive effect
Suggestion
a more positive effect
to
Suggestion
for
on
kids.
Submitted by piaosola on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • physically active
  • valuable lessons
  • success and failure
  • intense pressure
  • stress and anxiety
  • self-esteem issues
  • excessive emphasis
  • neglect
  • important subjects
  • activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: