IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

When new towns are planned, it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In the modern
city
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 has been growing rapidly, whereas, the population needs more property which developing outside of the
city
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 border. The new location needs more public facilities
such
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 as parks, pitch and shopping centres.
This
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 essay agrees with the statements of public facilities, because of the environmental factors and enhancing social activities in the facilities. The major argument
on
Suggestion
of
in
this
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 essay was investigated to find the benefits of these local centres.
First
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 argues is, that the environment is the effect on the majority of the population on their lifestyle.
For instance
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, the shopping centres classification in the two main locations.
Firstly
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, the most majority of the shopping centre can be open in the streets.
Thus
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, the
city
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 planner needs more roads and streets for covering to establish these areas.
Secondly
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, the huge buildings might include all the shops in the only facility. So, the planner needs to find more property.
Moreover
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, vast centres have an effect on traffic congestion. The new location might be withheld from natural wildlife.
Thus
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, it might be wrick havoc on the living organism. The
second
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 argues it is possible
therefore
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 that the citizen can find social interaction.
For instance
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, sports facilities can gather people, both in the same place and activity.
Thus
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, people can find to meet each other. Building more parks are the other argument and reason for important facilities. The parks perform better than the shopping centre. Because the people are happier and chill in the parks via natural sound and social interactions. Most of the research reported that natural
life
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 improves human
life
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 quality. To the sum, the reason for the environment and social facilities show that the priority of establishing shopping centre tends to increase more drawbacks of
city
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life
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 due to demonstrating natural
life
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 and insulate human interactions.
This
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 essay concluded that social facilities give more opportunities to enhance the structure of the
city
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 mechanism.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public parks
  • sports facilities
  • shopping centres
  • free time
  • healthy lifestyle
  • social interaction
  • community hubs
  • mental health
  • leisure activities
  • economic activity
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • aesthetic value
  • environmental benefits
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • traffic congestion
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