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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages

#people #homes #areas #study #work #cities #development
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It is true that young generation prefers to settle in big cities rather than living in their hometown. There are a variety of reasons to explain
this
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 problem, in my opinion, these are outweighed by the drawbacks of
this
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 trend. On the one hand, there are two main reasons that lead to urban migration of young adults.
Firstly
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, they migrate to cities in search of jobs to make their living, especially the developed city where the new-established companies offer the huge number of employees.
Thus
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, they could reach a high standard of living to fulfil their
families’needs
Suggestion
families’ needs
.
Secondly
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, there are numerous universities providing many good educational facilities and many fields of study for students to choose like banking, technology, and economy.
On the other hand
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, whatever the reason may be; I personally believe that the advantages of
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this
plural of "this"
these
 migrations do not overweigh disadvantages. 
As a result
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 of migration, the traditional culture of the rural or villages will be ravaged and in turn might get into the danger of extinction.
Moreover
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, the developed cities would deal with harmful problems
such
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 as traffic jam, population explosion, and pressure on infrastructure and services. 
In addition
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, a widening gap between urban areas and countryside makes people living in rural areas feel dissatisfied and unfair. While the big cities gain a large workforce to promote the economy, the rural inhabitants are hard to make ends meet due to lack of both skilled workers and professional leaders. In conclusion, it is no doubt that living in a big city is a good chance for young people;
however
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, I would argue that
this
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 tendency has more negative impact on society than positive effects.
Submitted by zonryhanahcollins on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Educational institutions
  • Job prospects
  • Wages
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural exchange
  • Overpopulation
  • Cost of living
  • Rural depopulation
  • Social isolation
  • Traditional values
  • Personal growth
  • Recreational activities
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