IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #situation
Job
 availabilities and economical condition are integral parts of society.
Thus
, many people in the productive age are migrating to big cities in the search of better quality of life, leaving the elders to live in the
countryside
.
This
 leads to several problems,
such
 as
overcrowd
Suggestion
overcrowding
 and
poverty
 in a big city.
However
, there is a step that can be done to resolve the problems.
Firstly
, living in a big city is not a guarantee of a prosperous life. Particularly, if the people who move from the
countryside
 do not have the skill to compete in the
job
, they will suffer and suck into
poverty
.
Consequently
, the
poverty
 rate in cities will skyrocket.
In addition
, overcrowd problem will occur
too because
Accept comma addition
too, because
 cities have limited space for housing.
For instance
, in Jakarta, there are plenty of migrated people who live in improper places after they move into the city.
Nevertheless
, urbanization issue can be tackled by providing
job more opportunities
Suggestion
more job opportunities
 in the
countryside
. By opening industrial and business areas,
job
 opportunities and the economy will flourish. If there are enough jobs to support the economy, there will be fewer young people who move to cities and towns. One of the best practice is Japan, in that country, the industrial areas are distributed to small cities to ensure the
job
 availability there. To conclude,
poverty
 and overcrowd issues will occur in big cities if the migration rate is growing.
However
, these issues can be resolved by establishing industrial and business areas in the
countryside
 to create
job
 opportunities and provide better economic expectancy.
This
 will prevent young people who are thirsty for experiences and opportunities from moving to big cities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: