IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #research #governments #companies
People assume that scientific
research
 is supposed to be supervised by the
government
instead
 of the private organization. I personally, share a similar view with
this
 statement with the reasons stated below. Many reasons can clarify the essential part of the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 role to control scientific studies. First of all, various
research
 activities are carried out by private companies
such
 as pharmaceutical companies to produce a new remedy for a certain illness.
This
 leads to exclusive
claim
Fix the agreement mistake
claims
show examples
 for the medication by a sole company merely for the sake of economic commodity without offering an advantage to the public health.
Therefore
, in
this
 case, the
government
 should implement policies
such
 as granting a limited time for the company to produce and sell the medication
as well as
 adjusting the medication price in the market.
Thus
,
this
 remedy is affordable for people.
Moreover
, many scientific
research
 projects are funded by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
 grant which is derived from public money
such
 as taxes. The
government
 ought to make sure that
this
 study is not
wasting
Wrong verb form
a waste of
show examples
 money and can bring about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial effects on society.
Furthermore
, many scientific studies involve
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 as objects. For
this
, the
government
 should employ
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 to protect and to ensure that there is no violation of human rights
as well as
 no negative consequences resulting from
this
 process.
To sum up
, I believe that the role of
government
to control
Change preposition
in controlling
show examples
 scientific studies is essential to ensure that all the
research
 purpose is purely to bring benefit to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Submitted by wardiatiyusuf on

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task response
Make sure to focus on directly answering the question and fully addressing all aspects of the task prompt. Also ensure that the essay maintains a clear and comprehensive line of reasoning throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Work on making the logical structure of the essay more evident by using clear and appropriate transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the ideas. Also, consider including a stronger, more impactful conclusion to effectively summarize the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • government oversight
  • ethical guidelines
  • public interest
  • public funding
  • transparency
  • widespread access
  • long-term societal benefits
  • profit motive
  • biased findings
  • restricted research
  • collaboration
  • bureaucratic delays
  • political influence
  • innovation
  • regulations
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