The table below shows the numbers of visitors to ashdown museum during the year before and year after the refurbished. The chart show result of survays asking how they were satisfied with their visit during the same two period
We will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
survey
carried out on Add an article
a survey
visitors
by asking questions to them about museum
, before and after renovation. The given chart Add an article
the museum
show
the results of Change the verb form
shows
survays
that how much the Correct your spelling
surveys
visitors
are satisfied.
As we can see, only 15 percent
of people were actually satisfied before Change the spelling
per cent
refurbishment
of the Correct article usage
the refurbishment
museum
compared to the year
after, it was
increased by 35 Unnecessary verb
apply
percent
. 30 Change the spelling
per cent
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
people
were convinced Change preposition
of people
year
before, Correct article usage
the year
after
restoring the Correct word choice
and after
museum
about 40 percent
Change the spelling
per cent
visitors
were convinced. Change preposition
of visitors
Visitors
were very
disappointed Add an article
the very
a very
year
before as Correct article usage
the year
year
after it was improved very well, only 15 Correct article usage
the year
percent
were not satisfied after renovating than that it was about 40 Change the spelling
per cent
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
visitors
who were not satisfied
Add an article
the satisfied
a satisfied
year
before. Correct article usage
the year
Visitors
were offended before development, but it had been
decreased after development, 10 Unnecessary verb
apply
percent
and 5 Change the spelling
per cent
percent
respectively. Amount of Change the spelling
per cent
the
Correct article usage
apply
visitors
who haven't respond
, Wrong verb form
responded
however
, was constant, about 5 percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
visitors
neither reply year
before Correct article usage
the year
not
Correct your spelling
nor
year
after.
Correct article usage
the year
To conclude
, I can say that amount of dissatisfied, very dissatisfied visitors
have awesomely decreased in numbers. People are so much satisfied after refurbishment
of the Correct article usage
the refurbishment
museum
. Most importantly, visitors
to Correct article usage
the ashdown
ashdown
Change the capitalization
Ashdown
museum
has
increased as Correct subject-verb agreement
have
year
before it was 74,000 and Add an article
the year
a year
year
after it has been enlarged to 92,000.Correct article usage
the year
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, percent, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼