In some countries, some people are renting accommodation, while others are buying their own homes. Doe renting accommodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?

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Considering the
price
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, some
people
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prefer to rent a
house
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than own a
house
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.
Moreover
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, buying a
house
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has disadvantages
such
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as high
price
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and high maintenance
whereas
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the advantages are
privacy
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and investment.
Due to
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this
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fact, I wholeheartedly agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of buying a
house
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. On the one hand, the drawback of having our own place is it requires a lot of money.
This
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is because the
price
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of a building in some areas is quite expensive and
people
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should prepare a cost to maintain the building because they will live in the
house
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for a long time. In Yogyakarta, Indonesia,
for instance
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, there is a region called Kaliurang in which the land prices are four times higher than any other region and maintenance fees are not included.
As a result
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,
people
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tend to rent accommodation rather than buying
due to
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the high
price
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.
On the other hand
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, having our own property is
such
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an investment and it guarantees our
privacy
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.
In addition
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, the increase in land and building prices is stable each year and it could be an opportunity.
Moreover
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, having our own place will guarantee
privacy
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as we manage our
house
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by ourselves. In Jakarta,
for example
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,
people
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are buying properties in prestigious areas
such
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as Pondok Indah and Senayan where the value increases significantly every year by up to 30% and these areas provide security and
privacy
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guaranteed.
Therefore
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, buying a
house
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still benefits
people
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in many ways rather than renting accommodation.
To conclude
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, buying a
house
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requires a reasonable cost to be prepared and a cost to maintain the building.
However
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, buying a dwelling is an investment for the future because the
price
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increases every year and our
privacy
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is guaranteed. For these reasons, I recommend
people
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to own their place rather than rent accommodation.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout the response. However, to achieve a higher score, enhance your argument by addressing potential counterarguments more explicitly.
task achievement
Some points in the essay could be expanded further for greater clarity and depth. Providing additional supporting details and examples will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-structured, consider varying sentence structure and using more transitional phrases to improve flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the argument effectively.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported with specific examples, which adds credibility to your argument.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear and comprehensive stance on the topic, contributing to its overall effectiveness.
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