IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that schools should include competitive sports as a subject while others believe that it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #schools #sports #effects #children
Sports, nowadays have become an integral part of the young generation. The society has been discussing about the consequences of competitive sports in schools for
youngers
used of the younger of two persons of the same name especially used to distinguish a son from his father
younger
.
This
 essay will discuss why I strongly believe that all kinds of sports should be teach at school.
First
 of all, the main idea behind the sports is that they maintain the body moving.
As a result
 of it, sports make us healthier and happier.
Second
 of all, especially for children these kinds of practice are really necessary to develop theirs muscles, bones, and even mind.
For example
, if they practiced regular activities more often,
such
 as, soccer, basketball or volley, their health will be improved a lot,
also
 they could live more and more years.
Moreover
, working as a team, some young people develop the ability to understand how the world works, while some are the
first
, others could be the
last
.
For instance
, when I was a child, I used to play soccer with my friends during the high school, and it was an amazing experience for all of us, because sometimes we won, and others we lost, but we never gave up.
Consequently
,
this
 period taught us an important lesson for entire life,
that is
 "no matter the final result, always give your best". In conclusion, I totally agree with it that there are more pros than cons of teaching competitive sports for children, they could rise mature and being better people, facing challenges no matter how big they could be.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • physically active
  • valuable lessons
  • success and failure
  • intense pressure
  • stress and anxiety
  • self-esteem issues
  • excessive emphasis
  • neglect
  • important subjects
  • activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: