Some people believe that parents should limit their children hours of watching tv and playing computer games, but encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree

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In today, 's digital era,

children

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spend an increasing number of hours on screens and

games

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, which have adverse side effects on not only cognitive skills but

also

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on mental

health

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. Some people argue that parents should limit screen time and encourage them to read books which has uncountable benefits. I

also

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agree with

this

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point,

due to

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some reasons.

To begin

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with, arise in screening time have great concern because of some reasons

such

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as mental

health

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, physical

health

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, and their bond with family. To explain, when

children

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spend their all-time in watching television or video

games

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then

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they are isolated from their families.

As a result

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due to

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a lack of communication, and physical activities not only their physical

health

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be affected negatively but

also

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hurts their mental

health

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Moreover

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, they will not feel confident to speak and are unable to share their feelings and emotions with someone else.

Additionally

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, day by day their academic performance becomes poorer. Moving

further

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, playing

games

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and watching TV has numerous pros

such

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as education channels, problem-solving skills, and brain and hand activity. To clarify there are a lot of educational channels that give general knowledge with some images and video effects

due to

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this

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kids can remember easily and interestingly

along with

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that they put some questions in end.

Consequently

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children

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can use their minds to give answers. Another advantage is playing

games

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also

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involves hand movement and thinking fast to do any actions which makes

children

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able to think fast and take action when needed.

For example

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, a survey conducted by Japan has shown a report that more than 60% of students in schools take action early and win in ming

games

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who are involved in

games

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and watch educational channels.

To conclude

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although

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it is very beneficial to limit screen time, completely restricting is neither practical nor beneficial. A balanced strategy that combines moderate screen use with regular reading will provide

children

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with a well-rounded learning experience.

manpreetk221101Wed Feb 05 2025

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What works well

Task Achievement

You have clearly stated your agree/disagree position in the introduction and have maintained this viewpoint throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow the overall argument.

Improvement Suggestions

Task Achievement

Expand on your main points with additional examples and explanations. Some arguments feel underdeveloped and could benefit from more elaboration.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased or grammatically incorrect, which can impede understanding.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your arguments are balanced. While you mention the benefits of screen time, be careful not to downplay the need for moderation and the importance of traditional forms of learning too much.

15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

328 words

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Some people believe that parents should limit their children hours of watching tv and playing computer games, but encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree

What works well

Improvement Suggestions

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

There are many extinct animals’ species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.