IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Other however believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
Nowadays, in most societies antisocial behaviour is an urgent problem. Some people consider that long prison sentences are necessary to reduce levels of
crime
. Others find that there are more effective alternative methods to lower
crime
 rates.
This
 essay will discuss about both views and I will provide my own opinion. In modern
society
, many countries practice alternative methods
such
 as community service.
This
 gives a prisoner the opportunity to give positive back to
society
 and it may improve their behaviour.
Also
, spending a long
time
 term in prison with other criminals will not change offenders' character. I consider that work for the community more effective methods than long
time
 sentences because the prisoner will focus on benefits for
society
. Other people believe that criminals need imprisonment for the long term.
Firstly
, spending a long
time
 in prison provides an opportunity to rehabilitate a prisoner.
Also
, criminals need to spend enough
time
 for re-education, which will avoid repeat offenders in the future. It is the perfect option for those, who commit the severe
crime
such
 as murder or assault, as justice for the victim should take priority. To conclude, the government in every country could focus on the causes of
crime
 and needs of
society
 to prevent offences.
This
 essay contains some argument for and against long
time
 sentences, which prove my opinion.
Submitted by memaj13244 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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