IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think children should obey the rules their parents and teachers set and listen to them, but others think less control will help children to deal with their future adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #rules #parents #teachers #control #future #adult #life
People hold different views about whether there should be more or less control over children. While there are some strong arguments against the setting of children’s strict controls, I believe that children need
the high
Suggestion
higher
 standards of discipline. There are several reasons why people might argue that children should not be controlled strictly.
Firstly
, children will have confidence in themselves in the future if they do not have to reluctantly obey certain kinds of rules.
For example
, giving freedom from too many strict regulations at school assists them to take an active involvement in lessons.
Secondly
, not having to follow orders helps them to have much success in their higher education. More importantly, it is beneficial for them to develop an independent study habit which prepares them to work autonomously.
However
, I would agree with those who believe that it is significant to sufficiently regulate those children who are concerned. The main reason for
this
 view is that having
such
 kinds of ground rules teaches youngsters to feel a strong sense of responsibility towards their future life.
For instance
, they always tend to do something to improve their
life-long
continuing through life
lifelong
 experience
instead
 of wasting their valuable time. Another factor for
this
 opinion is that carefully regulated children will probably make a success in their workplaces
such
 as career progression and job prospects in their later life. In conclusion,
although
 there are clear arguments against supervising children amply, I am of the opinion that complying with significant rules is a necessary burden.
Submitted by spectacularglimp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: