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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that to produce a happier society is to ensure that there is only a small difference on the earnings of the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #difference #earnings #members
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There are people who believe that a happier nation is evaluated by a short gap of the income between the richest and the poorest people, but I do not agree with
this
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 point of view. I think that there are other factors contribute to the level of happiness of a society.
To begin
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 with, people would be happier if their needs met, especially in health care, education, infrastructure, and entertainment.
Such
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 essential needs are provided by the government, thereby the authority should be the one manages and has a fair system to use the income taxes received equally. Taxes,
on the other hand
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, are contributed by the rich and the poor people,
therefore
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 a good tax system would help to reduce the gap and would make the community happier.
For example
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, the wealthiest people would pay higher tax and the least poverty classes pay less amount. And, the government should use that money to pay back for the benefits of the whole nation by giving free access to healthcare, education or entertainment.
On the other hand
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, shortening the gap of the income between the rich and the poor is not a good strategy because it could not make the world strive for a better.
Firstly
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, if everyone gets the same amount of what they work for, no one wants to work harder and thinks differently.
As a result
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, the country could not develop well because everyone has the same standards.
Besides
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, people become lazier and more laid-back and that would not make people happier. In conclusion, I think the government plays a vital role in controlling the public money and helps society become happier by enhancing local tangibles, not by cutting the salaries between the richest and the poorest.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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