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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
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Some people
use
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technology
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 to see what other people’s actions through telephone location or security cameras and some people do not realize that they are monitored and losing their privacy.
This
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 essay will argue that the benefits of
this
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 development far outweigh its drawbacks because monitoring people by using
technology
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 can protect them from harmful situations. In recent day, there are many news reported that said people used
technology
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 to spread negativity to others. In fact, some people used
technology
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 in an inappropriate way with those who are unaware that someone is going into their privacy.
For example
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, some people
use
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technology
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 to get the personal information of others or
use
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 it to make terrible activities
such
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 as sexual harassment.
Therefore
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, governments should set up an organization to protect people from these consequences and identify those people who
use
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technology
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 to hurt others
In contrast
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, using
technology
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 to monitor people can be used as a piece of evidence to prove the truth of situations in order to help to reduce the crime rate or any other problem from bad human habits in our society. To explain, security cameras can be used to solve many problems
such
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 as, on ground accidents because It shows what just happened in the past so police can easier identify the right and wrong persons.
Moreover
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, smartphone voice tracking can
use
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 as a possible evidence of corruption because it recorded voice conversations between people. In conclusion, the positive effects of using
technology
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 to follow people diary activity far outweigh the disadvantages because they help identify the truth, reduce the crime rate, and stop creating corruption in the country.
Submitted by rodridthanawat on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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