Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

Some people

use

technology

to see what other people’s actions through telephone location or security cameras and some people do not realize that they are monitored and losing their privacy.

This

essay will argue that the benefits of

this

development far outweigh its drawbacks because monitoring people by using

technology

can protect them from harmful situations. In recent day, there are many news reported that said people used

technology

to spread negativity to others. In fact, some people used

technology

in an inappropriate way with those who are unaware that someone is going into their privacy.

For example

, some people

use

technology

to get the personal information of others or

use

it to make terrible activities

such

as sexual harassment.

Therefore

, governments should set up an organization to protect people from these consequences and identify those people who

use

technology

to hurt others

In contrast

, using

technology

to monitor people can be used as a piece of evidence to prove the truth of situations in order to help to reduce the crime rate or any other problem from bad human habits in our society. To explain, security cameras can be used to solve many problems

such

as, on ground accidents because It shows what just happened in the past so police can easier identify the right and wrong persons.

Moreover

, smartphone voice tracking can

use

as a possible evidence of corruption because it recorded voice conversations between people. In conclusion, the positive effects of using

technology

to follow people diary activity far outweigh the disadvantages because they help identify the truth, reduce the crime rate, and stop creating corruption in the country.

Submitted by rodridthanawat on Sat Feb 08 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs.

Many University graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profesion. What factor may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion should be done about it?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this . You should write at least 250 words.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?