Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

#people #money #factors #happiness

Money

is considered by many people to be one of the most important contributing factors towards

happiness

. In my opinion, it is possible for people to be happy even if they have little

money

and other aspects of

life

can play a more vital role in creating

happiness

Although

having

money

brings

happiness

to a lot of people, it does not necessarily follow that people without

money

are,

therefore

, unhappy. Take

for example

the comparison between developing and developed countries, most Westerners would agree that people in developing countries are happier, enjoy stronger family connections and take more pleasure in the simplicities of

life

to a greater extent than those in developed countries. One way that people can gain

happiness

is through their work.

For instance

, a doctor doing volunteer work in underdeveloped countries may have very little

money but

Accept comma addition

money, but

the reward of helping people and doing the job they are good at, brings

happiness

in itself.

In other words

happiness

can be found by using skills that people are trained for and through job satisfaction.

Finally

, another factor influencing

happiness

is having supportive and loving people in one’s

life

. While

money

may bring the opportunities to enjoy pleasures, few people would enjoy them on their own. Being surrounded by a loving and caring family is considered by most people to be more valuable than any amount of

money

. In conclusion,

money

is not essential for

happiness

, which can be found through job satisfaction as well as family. If more people strived in

life

towards true

happiness

rather than

money

, the world would be a better place.

Submitted by nithyadps on Sat Apr 20 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Fully explain your ideas

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