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Writing Samples
Band 7

As a result of electronic inventions, people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is said that electronic equipments like computers and televisions prevent people from doing physical work and
this
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 lead to problems for people's
health
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. I partly concur with
this
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 idea. In my point of view, due to using these inventions without control, people have a lot of
health
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 problems.
Nevertheless
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, there are other factors which cause negative effects on the
health
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 of people. For lots of people regardless of ages, electronic inventions
such
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 as computers and television have become a popular form of entertainment. They spend almost their free time using them for entertaining themselves.
Therefore
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,
this
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 affects negatively people's
health
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. Sitting a lot
for
Suggestion
of
 entertainment is one of the most common reasons lead to overweight and back problems.
In addition
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, concentrate completely on a screen in a long time can cause short-sighted.
However
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, these equipments is not the only factors which cause
health
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 problems. Some people are fond of food, especially fast food. They eat a lot and
as a result
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, they have some problems related to
health
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such
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 as overweight.
Moreover
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, some of them are tired and sick of workout every day so they give up and decide to do something more captivating and easier than like chatting to their friends or doing the shopping. These make their weight hard to be lost.
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Therefore there
Accept comma addition
Therefore, there
 can be thousands of factors which contribute to overweight and other
health
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 problems. In conclusion, using computers or televisions in a long time is negative for people.
However
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, due to manifold reasons,
health
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 problems begin appearing.

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