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Band 6

Charitable organizations increasingly utilize the internet and television to promote their work, a trend driven by technological advancements. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this approach, and provide your opinion with relevant examples and evidence.

#organizations #internet #television #work #trend #advancements #approach #evidence
Charitable trusts are often broadcasting their work on the web and television,
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
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has become quite ubiquitous in recent years. The reason behind his advancement in technology,
while
 it is a very optimistic approach in my belief. Considering the reasons behind frequent advertisements about philanthropy work. First of all, people around the world are hardly coming out of their mobile screens these days,
hence
 it is the only way to catch their attention for
such
 an important task. As with the advent of technological gadgets, an umpteen of social media platforms
such
 as Facebook or Twitter are being approached by charity workers in order to seek vitamin-M for donation. Another reason worth considering is,
without
Correct word choice
that without
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 the fetch and carry, no one will even be acquainted with any dire issues around the globe.
For instance
, Indian authorities regularly keep their denizens updated about ongoing natural calamities or novel diseases, simultaneously with repeated- adverts.
As a result
, wealthy families donate their spare money for the betterment of mankind. Charity work
also
 comes with a lot of positives for the donors and receivers. The former, who spends their extra income on charity, get the benefit in terms of tax reduction in numerous countries,
while
 the latter can get rid of the financial burden in case of illnesses or damages. Another virtue of
such
 a practice is,
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
 come to know about the various sufferings that the world is facing, and resultantly they feel sympathetic and caring.
Besides
, the more individuals donate, the less will be the poverty, and
thus
 society will live in a harmonious manner without any grief.
To conclude
, thanks to the Internet and media charitable trusts are able to air their message, so that they can get the heed of the privileged citizens to be a helping hand for humanity. In fact, I can say that it is, undoubtedly advantageous for rich people in terms of alleviated tax amounts.
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between ideas. This can make the essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
task achievement
Clarify some of the key ideas and ensure they are comprehensively explained. This can improve overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a well-defined introduction and conclusion, providing a clear structure to the reader.
task achievement
The argument addresses both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The use of terms like 'philanthropy,' 'technological advancements,' and 'natural calamities' demonstrates a good range of vocabulary.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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