IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is inevitable that traditional culture will be lost when technology develops . Technology and traditional culture are incampitable

In the current scenario
,
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,
it is believed by some that
advancement
Suggestion
the advancement
 of automated devices will lead to the fall of traditional
culture
Use synonyms
.
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.
In my view
,
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,
I reckon with the statement that traditional
culture
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 and machine is incompatible To commence with, There several reasons which points out that
advancement
Suggestion
the advancement
 of machinery has played a vital role in the betterment of society
,
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,
In particular
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, the field of communication
has benefited
Suggestion
have benefited
have benefitted
 the most
,
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,
for example
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,
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,
 due to various
app
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apps
such
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 as Skype
,
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,
whatsapp
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etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
.
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.
communication
Suggestion
Communication
 with people have become easier
.
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.
Linking Words
similarly
Suggestion
Similarly
,
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,
due to the foundation of solar panels the consumption of gasoline is reduced.
Moreover
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, with these advance
technology
Suggestion
technologies
 in most rural areas internet has become easily accessible, due to electronic car the consumption of fuel
such
Linking Words
 as petrol
,
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,
diesel has decreased.The decrease in fuel leads to the reduction in co2 consumption (one of the course of
glabal
involving the entire earth; not limited or provincial in scope
global
 warming). Despite all these benefits
,
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,
 machinery
is
Suggestion
Is
 one of the
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 for the fall of traditional
culture
Use synonyms
,
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,
As communication improves
,
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,
 and brings education to both developed and developing countries. More and more people will discover what the world has to give outside circle
,
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,
 especially the young ones who are curious to discover the world outside by leaving their traditions. In conclusions, a
person
Suggestion
person's
 character depends upon his traditions and his surroundings.Apart from that
,
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,
a
culture
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 represents their legacy
.
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.
It is important to preserve them
,
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,
 so that the future generations can learn more about their ancestors
.
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.
Which is possible by maintaining balance with technology and traditional
culture
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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