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Writing Samples
Band 7

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Music
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 is one of the most intricate art styles which has different forms from all over the world.
Music
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 has a crucial role in
people
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's lives as it offers them an enjoyable way to relax and escape from all bad feelings.
People
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 tend to listen to both traditional and international
music
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 in their daily lives. In my opinion, it is very essential to protect a
country
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's traditional
music
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due to
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 several reasons.
Firstly
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,
music
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 provides
people
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 with peace of mind in today's fast-paced world. Living in a highly competitive environment requires workers,
as well as
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 students, to work and study for longer hours, which in turn, prevents them from taking a much-needed break. But listening to
music
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 is an effective way to relax and it cultivates a sense of mental escapism.
Moreover
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,
people
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 feel very guilty when they decide to rest even for a few minutes as the harsh conditions that they encounter on a daily basis push them to be productive without focusing on their
overall
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 well-being.
This
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 is when
music
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 steps in and increases a feeling of happiness, making
people
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 feel confident and relaxed without worrying too much about their responsibilities.
Secondly
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, prioritizing a
country
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's own
music
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 is an important matter that every citizen should pay attention to. The first reason is that traditional
music
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 is a deeply rooted part of the nation's cultural identity.
In addition
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,
people
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's choice of
music
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 shows their respect towards their
country
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's cultural heritage.
Furthermore
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, individuals especially those who visit abroad frequently, whether for business purposes or education, need to be aware of traditional songs in order to represent their
country
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 and increase the awareness of foreigners.
Additionally
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, it allows them to engage in meaningful conversations with others when they talk about the topic of
music
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. In conclusion,
music
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 plays an indispensable role in strengthening
people
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's emotional well-being as it helps them to overcome difficult situations and to feel more relaxed.
Moreover
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, keeping the traditional
music
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 alive is needed to inform and raise the awareness of future generations.

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task achievement
Try to use clearer examples to support your ideas. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure all your ideas are well connected and flow smoothly from one to another.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your main points to give readers a strong start.
positive
Your introduction is engaging and sets a good stage for the essay.
positive
You presented your ideas clearly, showing good understanding of music's importance.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
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