IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Throughout the history, people dream to build a perfect society, while they haven’t agreed how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make the perfect society? How do people do to achieve an ideal society?

#history #people #dream #society #haven’t #element
From the past decade, people wish to make an ideal
society
, but they never agreed about what it consists of.
This
 essay will discuss about the key services which provided by the
community
, including equality,
respect
 and how to build an ideal
society
.
To begin
 with,
one
 of the important reasons is that providing an equal opportunity to every
person
 in the
community
.
This
 will create an atmosphere where
one
 should get the things base on their abilities.
For example
, a
person
 can get admission in the college based on their result in the school, there is no
such
 rules based on the cast they get the admission in the college having less score.
Moreover
, India is the diverse country
as a result
, different religion people are living, give the same
respect
 for all the religions. Try to understand other beliefs which generate the
respect
 for others. At
last
, creating equality and
respect
 in the
community
, people can live their life happily.
On the other hand
, to build the ideal
society
 an individual in the mankind gives effort.
Firstly
,
one
 should start to use the services provided by the
community
,
such
 as education and health.
This
 will generate a future generation having skill and healthy life.
For instance
, research conducted shows that every
person
 having good education serves the
society
 by their knowledge.
Furthermore
, every
person
 understands their role in the
society
, so never do any activity, which spoil the belief of the
society
 like no criminal activity.
Hence
, everyone lives healthy and safe life in the
community
. In conclusion, to create an ideal
society
 gives an equal opportunity and
respect
 for all citizens consider as an ideal,
although
 to build it the
one
 should use the facility of education and health using that, they serve effectively to make the
community
 perfect.
Submitted by nn.pk18913 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: