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Writing Samples
Band 6

many countries believe that economic growth is the most important than anything. However, some people believe that they should addresss equally various types of issues. Discuss both views and express your opinions.

#countries #growth #people #addresss
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Although
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 many
nations
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 consider that economic growth is the most valuable aim, some people believe that different aspects of growth are equally important for a nation.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and propose my opinions. To start with,
one
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 compelling argument in favour of the former notion is that in most cases, the growing economy in
nations
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 provides more benefits to these citizens,
such
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 as developed healthcare and education.
One
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 major reason for
this
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 is that governments can allocate more budget to
such
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 public services in the long future. Especially, by providing advanced education to young generations, there is an increased likelihood of various types of
further
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 developments in these countries,
such
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 as technology and medicine;
hence
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, it is ordinarily advantageous for
nations
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 to aim to enhance their economy.
On the other hand
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,
one
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 key idea supporting the latter notion is that governments should address pressing
issues
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, which
varies
Correct subject-verb agreement
vary
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 depending on the country. To illustrate, in recent years, Japanese society has faced a shrinking and
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 population, which is
widely
Correct article usage
a widely
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 acknowledged
major
Add an article
the major
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 social issue in Japan. Research has shown that If the government were to prioritise economic advancement over these
issues
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, the nation would find it significantly challenging to improve the severe situation;
thus
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, in terms of the shrinking and
aging
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ageing
show examples
 population in Japan, its nation should take measures on these
issues
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 as soon as possible. In conclusion, prioritising economic growth has both pros and cons,
one
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 advantage of
this
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 idea is providing more valuable public services, and ultimately
further
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 advancements in various fields.
However
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, for the above reasons,
nations
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 sometimes have to address pressing
issues
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while
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 improving the economy.
Therefore
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 governments have to strive to balance these merits and drawbacks anytime and conclude the best choice for citizens.
Submitted by kurosaku5857 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-connected with clear linking words or phrases to improve logical structure.
Task Achievement
Expand on ideas in the body paragraphs to provide more comprehensive support and clear reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay.
Task Achievement
Examples provided, like the situation in Japan, effectively support the discussion points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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