IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while other thinks is has disadvantages to this. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#companies #sponsor #sports #people
The companies boost their advertisement in various sectors
such
 as sports events. The main conflict is that half of the majority confirm these applications, others do not. The organisation expenses are the most important factor which establishes the event.
Although
 the main income comes from visitors and advertisement, the players or sportsmen are imposed according to the preferences of sponsors which do not care about fair play. The
first
 idea is that the expenses are a very important problem for events. The authorizes must find sponsor which support the players or athletes.
This
 fund could achieve some benefits in the sports competition.
Otherwise
, the visitor's fund is not insufficient to incur these expenses.
Thus
, the vast majority of the support contributed by the sponsors.
For instance
, more money could be made in more huge organisations.
Moreover
, sports competitions impress and excite more audiences. The
second
 idea is that the patrons do not care about the game or fair play. They always want to make more profits. So, their advertisements need to achieve more seen by visitors.
Moreover
, while they are doing that, the companies use all communication broadcasts
such
 as social media or telephones and Televisions. Winner of the competition is not important at all, the main idea is how event influence
on
Suggestion
of
 the media and how much the banner is seen by the audience. So, the sportsmen are a toy according to companies who able to walk a flyer on the streets. In the sum, both conflicts have an acceptable reason by their inside.
However
, money is an important role in making these sports events.
Thus
, the admission of the
organisation
Suggestion
organising
 companies should respect the players.
Consequently
, the advantages of the advertisement outweigh rather than disadvantages at the event.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sports sponsorship
  • financial support
  • athletes
  • brand visibility
  • awareness
  • commercialization
  • integrity
  • dependencies
  • corporate funds
  • unethical practices
  • strategic partnerships
  • communal relations
  • promote healthy lifestyles
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