IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#question- #people #music #cultures #ages
There is a significant place for
music
 in most cultures from ancient time.
certain
Suggestion
Certain
 people believe
this
 is one of
ideal way
Suggestion
the ideal way
 to improve
bond
Suggestion
the bond
 between cultures at different age group.I would certainly agree with statement due to several reasons.
First
 and foremost
music
 is a subject that can be enjoyed by people at any age.
the
Suggestion
The
 bond between the mother and a newborn reinforce when she
sing
Suggestion
sings
rymes
correspondence in the sounds of two or more lines (especially final sounds)
rhymes
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 even though newborn can't understand the words he get pleasure out of
music
.
similarly even
Accept comma addition
Similarly, even
Similarly even
 people can't understand the words of
forieng language
Suggestion
the foreign language
foreign language
a foreign language
foreign languages
 they
can enjoyed
Suggestion
can enjoy
 the songs of other cultures.There for
music
 is one way
appreciate
Suggestion
to appreciate
 other cultures.
on
Suggestion
On
 the other
hand if
Accept comma addition
hand, if
 thing about books and movies language barrier is there to enjoy them.
Secondly there
Accept comma addition
Secondly, there
 are several songs from different nations has become popular around the world.
music
Suggestion
Music
 is
away
Suggestion
a way
 can touch the
person
Suggestion
person's
 heart.
when
Suggestion
When
 people fond of some
music
 they automatically start to live that
cultures
Suggestion
culture
 as well.
owing
Suggestion
Owing
 to that
this
 would help in increasing the bond between cultures. To
some
a quantity of money
sum
 up I strongly believe that
music
has ability to bring
Suggestion
has an ability to bring
 people together as
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 a universal language.
Submitted by salmal12313 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: