IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

As well as making money, businesses should have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
It is suggested that the businessmen must actively participate in the community services alongside their interest in the monetary affairs. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
 proposal, as their contribution is a social requirement and a cause of the communal harmony.
This
 essay will give an insight into the basis of my opinion.
Firstly
, the community has been always in a requirement of shares from the donors.
For example
, there are many old, needy and disable persons in a locality who cannot look after themselves,
thus
 they are dependent on the aid. In
this
 regard, steps taken by the rich people can be of great help, because, as of today, the governments are unable to cope with
such
 issues everywhere.
Consequently
, the input from the affording individuals, becomes a requirement.
Therefore
, the idea of their active involvement in the humanitarian projects is supported.
Secondly
,
such
 deeds of sacrifice for others, create an environment of proximity in a society. The poor people are helped by the donors,
this
 not only relieves their worries, but
also
 brings them closer. In that, they understand and address each other's problems more deeply. Resultantly, the love and affection prevail in a locality, which is beneficial for both the these ends and all other natives.
For instance
, the linguistic disparities in the Afghanistan are fading away with the entry of NGOs and the other social innovations. In conclusion, I vote for the active role of the wealthy residents in the mankind services
in addition
 to their earnings, because of their need and social cohesion.
Submitted by drgishkori on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
Look at other essays: