IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Animals are a crucial part of our ecosystem. Nowadays,
however
Linking Words
, many of them are on the verge of
extinction
Use synonyms
 even few are completely disappeared. While a dramatic increase in earth
temperature
Use synonyms
 could be the primary reason for
this
Linking Words
, there are many ways to protect these species from
extinction
Use synonyms
. Global warming is the chief reason to increase the rate of animal
extinction
Use synonyms
. Since the advent of industrialism, earth
temperature
Use synonyms
 has been increasing swiftly. On top of
this
Linking Words
, more and more private and public vehicle producing a substantial amount of carbon d
ioxide which
Accept comma addition
dioxide, which
is the essential reason to change in the climate. As a consequence, wild animals those who c
an not
can not
cannot
sustain in
this
Linking Words
 type of warm environment are dying out each and every day. Recent Bushfires, in Australia,
for instance
Linking Words
, is because of a rise in
temperature
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, more than 500 millions of a
nimal
Suggestion
animals
lost their l
ife,
Suggestion
lives
 and some of them become protected species especially, Australian Koalas.
However
Linking Words
, there are many ways to control the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of wild animals.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, the government has the power to make m
ost even
Accept comma addition
most, even
all the forest areas completely protected from human activities as humans tend to set fires.
This
Linking Words
 will not only reduce the number of fires in j
ungles but
Accept comma addition
jungles, but
also
Linking Words
 help to grow these inhabitant places naturally, which is vital for p
rosperous
Suggestion
prospering
wildlife in a forest.
In addition
Linking Words
, vehicle manufacturers should produce products that are environmentally friendly. Electric cars,
for example
Linking Words
, i
s
Suggestion
are
paramount to reduce carbon emissions in the atmosphere. To sum up, the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of wild species is inevitable due to a gradual rise in the
temperature
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, we as a human can control
this
Linking Words
 rate by protecting animals and their inhabitant places who are less in numbers and by promoting eco-friendly means of transport.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: