IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the only purpose of work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #purpose #work #money
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In
this
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 global era, currency is placed an indispensable part of
enocomy
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the economy
economy
 and It is a big difference with the previous generation of barter as
this
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is involved
Suggestion
involves
 the evolution of human's life. The present people prefer to earn the
money
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 and
this
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 is the reason that people
work
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 harder for.
Hence
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, it is important for us to discuss whether earning
money
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 is the only purpose of
work
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 or not.
First
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 of all, it is undeniable that nothing in the world is not related to
money
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 even basic daily necessities
such
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 as food, drinks and habitation must be bought by using
money
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. In order to live, people strive hard to earn more
money
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,
Accept space
,
so that they have the ability to pay various
fee
Suggestion
fees
 like
utility bill
Suggestion
utility bills
a utility bill
, rent and the cost of children's education. Because of enjoying material life or buying longing things, they tend to
work
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 overtime to get more salary and complete long-swatted wish. Some people
also
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work
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 hard to save their
money
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 due to the ambition of opening some shop or extending their business.
On the other hand
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, some people
work
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 hard because of the job satisfaction. Those people think that they can bring meaning and purpose to
job
Suggestion
the job
 if they fully engage in their
work
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 and adopt a positive attitude towards colleagues and superiors. Taking the teachers as
example
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an example
examples
, most of them
work
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 eight hours a day for 40 years and rightly expect to derive a feeling of fulfilment of their job. If they have not the passion
on
Suggestion
for
 education, they will easily give up due to the naughty students. In conclusion, either working for
money
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 or for satisfaction is the choice of people towards jobs. It cannot claim
absolutely
Suggestion
absolute
 that earning
money
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 is the only reason of working hard as people have
privilege
Suggestion
the privilege
 to select what type of jobs they like.
Submitted by lufeey428 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal fulfillment
  • professional growth
  • acquiring new skills
  • value in the job market
  • passion and interest
  • joy and purpose
  • social impact
  • make a difference in society
  • contribute to their community
  • positive impact on the world
  • recognition and status
  • accolades
  • prestigious reputation
  • sense of accomplishment
  • challenge themselves
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