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Band 6.5

People in the community can buy cheaper products nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #community #products
Nowadays,
besides
 having multiple functions and benefits, there are some people argue that social media have significant negative impacts on both individual and the community the whole. I do agree with
this
 argument because of many obvious reasons. On the one hand, social media
such
 as
Facebook
 or Instagram has played a vital role in communications since it was invented. It is clear that by using
Facebook
, people can easily keep in touch with their beloved one from long distance, not only hearing their voice but
also
 seeing their face conveniently.
Moreover
, since
Facebook
 users could use the live streaming ability to connect people in different regions, some companies have taken it as a vital measure to operate online conferences between employees who are not able to present at the office. Another benefit that makes social media extremely popular is its ability to update news continuously. Without spending too much expenditure of subscribing news or magazines, Social network users could be able to get notification about what they are interested in 24 hours a day and 7 days a week by using their mobile phone.
For example
,
instead
 of buying expensive tickets to see world cup matches, the fans just need to simply stay home and get the update about the games or even watch it on-live on
Facebook
.
On the other hand
, being deeply dependent on social networking sites has many negative impacts not only on a person but
also
 on society.
Firstly
, when wasting too much time on checking the updated news, the majority of youngsters have failed behind their study. There are many socialists has proved that, since the invention of
Facebook
, the performance of students at schools dropped dramatically.
Secondly
, because of the mass information in social media provided by many sources, there is an obvious high risk that vulnerable children could be affected negatively.
For example
, violent clips could be spread rapidly without any control and directly be seen by young children, which they might learn and copy the clip's contents.
As a result
, there will be no doubt about the raising of the crime rate within the society presently.  In conclusion,
besides
 many benefits the social networks could offer, there are many serious concerns about their negative impacts on the development of an individual as well as society.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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