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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, people believe that the environment influences their accomplishments. Some people think their success and accomplishment were influenced by the places where they grew up. Do you think the environment does or does not affect people’s accomplishment and how it affects?

#people #environment #influences #accomplishments #success #accomplishment #places #people’s
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There is no denying the fact that people believe that the
environment
 influences their accomplishments.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that the
environment
 impacts their success, there is
also
 an argument that the
environment
 helps people to succeed. On one hand, human beings
also
 would look for any excuse to rely on.
In other words
, the
environment
 is something we can not change or control in the short term and get the benefit of it,
hence
, dealing with the
environment
 will be better for us than claiming about it.
In addition
, with the new technology that we have nowadays a lot of things become easier than it was before.
For example
, we can arrange a huge event in the middle of the desert and everyone will be satisfied with the climate because of the new technology of the air conditioner.
On the other hand
, weather can be one of the obstacles you may face during your life and will prevent you from success. It is
also
 possible that the
environment
 has a significant impact on you.
Moreover
, a lot of people suffer from working under the sun for long hours, especially in the Middle East.
For instance
, you will not be able to work during day time in Arabic countries and that might affect your sales target. In conclusion, it is hard to tend to one side of
this
 argument. On balance,
however
, I believe that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 might help you with your accomplishments.
Submitted by altammar12 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Elaborating on how technological advancements specifically aid productivity under challenging environmental conditions could make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces its main idea. This will improve the flow and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the two sides of the argument, setting a balanced tone for the essay.
supported main points
The use of examples, such as air conditioning technology, enhances your explanation of how technology can mitigate environmental challenges.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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