IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #sportsmen #sportswomen #misbehave #field
In the modern world, many individuals are concerned about the demeanours of the sports people, because young generation can imitate their actions. In
this
 reason, many people believe that athletes should not behave poorly.
However
, others feel that if they are playing well, they can allow
such
 kinds of actions. There is no denying that sports people have a social responsibility in front of the sports viewers. In
this
 regard, good manners are essential for sportsmen and sportswomen, if they are willing to be a rule model for youngsters, and set a good example.
Otherwise
, they can mislead young people. A good illustration of
this
 is famous athletes, who is addicted to drugs or tobacco products.
For example
, a former boxing champion Mike Tyson is advertising his drugs through mass media, and his action can negatively affect young people.
On the other hand
, they can do whatever they want, if they are playing well, because it can be beneficial for the entertainment of sports viewers. It is widely known that many individuals are keen to watch sporting events in order to get relaxation. In
this
 reason, if athletes do some wrong actions, it can increase the number of fans.
Therefore
, trash talking is popular among fighters, because it can entertain people, and attract people’s attention. To illustrate, mixed martial arts fighter Conor McGregor is popular, because of his trash talking. Due to his ability, many individuals are interested in MMA. To conclude,
although
 many people believe that sportsmen and sportswomen can behave poorly, because they are entertaining fans, others feel that they cannot allow
such
 kinds of actions, because they have a social responsibility in front of the sports viewers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • misbehave
  • professional sportsmen
  • role model
  • public figures
  • influence
  • performance
  • moral standards
  • media scrutiny
  • endorsements
  • personal brand
  • consistency
  • punishment
  • redemption
  • integrity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: