IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two maps illustrated the distribution of the facilities of the May city in 1950 ( the one on the top) and in present ( the one on the bottom).

The two maps illustrated the distribution of the facilities of the May city in 1950 ( the one on the top) and in present ( the one on the bottom).
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two maps illustrated the distribution of the facilities of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
May
city
Use synonyms
 in 1950 ( the
one
Use synonyms
 on the top)  and in the present ( the
one
Use synonyms
 on the bottom).
Firstly
Linking Words
, a man-made lake was created by manually expanding the edges of the
river
Use synonyms
 along the path between the business district and the government building and constructing the dam in the distant part of the
river
Use synonyms
.
Business
Add an article
The business
show examples
 district
also
Linking Words
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
developed to the south side of the
river
Use synonyms
 around the old bridge during the period. The resident community that used to occupy a small area has expanded dramatically by about 10 times in size around the business district and
also
Linking Words
 to the south side of the
river
Use synonyms
. The old government building was down-sized;
however
Linking Words
, a big new
one
Use synonyms
 has been built in the south of the
city
Use synonyms
. The airport remains in the same location, but its size increased about three times. The traffic roads have developed as well by adding
one
Use synonyms
 more road with a small bridge which merged with
one
Use synonyms
 of two major roads before the airport.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
city
Use synonyms
 has tremendously developed in
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all economic sections in terms of its size of
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
population which increased 10 times from 20 thousand in 1950 to 200 thousand nowadays.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words city, one, river with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrated" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: