Some people believe that the government Should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience

The question of whether elderly individuals ought to be taken
care
of by the authorities has prompted a substantial debate.
While
many champion
this
, which I completely support, because the constitution mandates it, and they pay
taxes
during their labor days. Others contend against
this
idea. Analyzing
this
factuality will give a comprehensive understanding of
this
subject matter.
Firstly
,
this
is actually their constitutional right, so it should be upheld.
For example
, in Nigeria, old people are seen on the street begging because
leaders
embezzled all the funds meant to take
care
of the aged, which is against the law. Obviously, taking
care
of the aged group is a task only the state can handle.
Thus
, it is the government's responsibility to cater for the retired folks and should be implemented.
Secondly
. They
also
paid
taxes
to the authorities when they were still strong.
For instance
, Anambra state has the most effective operating system, because everyone that
paid
Wrong verb form
pays
show examples
taxes
is catered for at retirement. Clearly, they did not pay
taxes
themselves, so it is a duty solely meant for people in power.
Hence
, the
leaders
should assume the complete responsibility of the retired group. In my opinion,
leaders
are obligated in accordance with the constitutional law and by virtue of receiving tax contributions when they are young. In conclusion, the argument that the government should
care
for retired folks has sparked a considerable dispute. Some advocate for
this
, which, in my opinion, is better
due to
the law mandates it and that the elderly pay
taxes
while
they are working.
However
, others challenge
this
notion. Examining
this
fact has proved that it is the responsibility of the
leaders
to cater to the retired citizens.
Submitted by Eby on

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task achievement
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, focus on expanding your arguments with a broader range of examples and deeper analysis. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are well-developed and clearly focused. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and be followed by supporting details and examples related to your main argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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