Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some argue that harmful

sports

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should be restricted,

while

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others argue that

individuals

Use synonyms

should have the freedom to choose. Despite the risk of dangerous activities, I believe that people should have the autonomy to choose the things they want to do.

To begin

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with, harmful

sports

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can have many risks for

individuals

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. Participating in these activities can lead to fatal injuries and death. Even though they are physically and mentally prepared for it, the risk of danger is high.

For instance

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, continuous jarring of the head from boxing can lead to debilitating injuries

such

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as dementia, epilepsy, and Parkinson's. And these are lifetime injuries that cannot be cured.

That is

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to say, banning

such

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activity can protect

individuals

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from unnecessary harm.

On the other hand

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, others argue that a person should have the right to choose the things they want to do even if these choices involve risks. Many participants engage in dangerous

sports

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because it gives them a sense of accomplishment.

For instance

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, those who participate in skydiving feel a sense of fulfilment after they finish. They feel victorious because they were able to survive the activity that most people will not do.

Thus

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, as long as the participant knows the potential dangers it can cause him, he should be allowed to do anything he wants. In conclusion, engaging in harmful

sports

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can have potential risks to the lives of

individuals

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however

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, everyone has the right to make their own choices.

Thus

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, I believe that participating in

this

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kind of sport should depend on the person as long as he is knowledgeable about the potential dangers it can bring him.

yoko.oneromMon Mar 11 2024

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task response

Incorporate a clear thesis statement in your introduction to establish your viewpoint unequivocally from the beginning. This helps the reader understand your position and the structure of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance your introduction and conclusion. Make sure your introduction clearly states what the essay will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to it. This enhances the logical flow of your essay and makes your argument more persuasive.

task response

Strengthen your argument by incorporating more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Details and concrete examples make your argument more compelling and credible.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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