IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
It is undeniably true that the crime rate is increasing day by day, and so is the burden on the jails. Some people believe that bounding the prisoners to work for the
community
, without being paid, is far better than locking them up in the prisons. I completely agree with
this
 point of view and following are the reasons to believe so.
Firstly
, if a policy is made to modify the punishment of the prisoners,
such
 that they spend time doing unpaid
community
 work,
this
 could benefit the society and the people to a great extent.
For example
, if the educated prisoners are made to teach the children, especially the ones who belong to a poor socioeconomic class,
this
 would be an extreme help in improving the graph of education, as more and more children would get the opportunity to get educated.
Similarly
, the accused ones, who are good mechanics, if made to work at garages without a salary, would turn out to be a helping hand for the workers over there.
Secondly
, working for the public, changes the mindset of the criminals and they start thinking differently.
For instance
, when they spend their punishment period in the lockups, they are in an environment that does not change them much and after leaving the jail, they get back on the same track.
However
, if they are made to serve the
community
,
such
 as by cleaning the floors of the shopping malls or by nursing the sick people, their mind gets diverted from the criminal thoughts.
Therefore
, when they end their period of punishment, they transform into decent and helpful individuals. To conclude, if the criminals are made to do the
community
 services,
this
 would not only improve the society, as the crime rate would fall and they would help in a variety of sectors, but it would have an enormous positive impact on the prisoners' personalities, as well.
Submitted by dr.rabeeashah on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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