IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree?

It is often argued that
people
Use synonyms
 who
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 time out of their nation become more flexible in their
approach
Use synonyms
 and accept other's
viewpoint
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoints
show examples
. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the aforesaid statement as travelling exposes them to difficult situations wherein they question their own beliefs and introduces them to
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 set of thinking. When
people
Use synonyms
 go outside they often find themselves in a vulnerable state, as how things or systems work,
vary
Correct subject-verb agreement
varies
show examples
 from country to country. They
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 that things do not work out in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 way
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
backhome
Correct your spelling
back home
.
This
Linking Words
 enlightens them that there are different approaches to work on the situation and in turn they become more considerate
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Many
Fix capitalization
many
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 students who go outside
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study are
preplexed
Correct your spelling
perplexed
 by the way other students
approach
Use synonyms
 the difficult concepts in study and imbibe
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
Use synonyms
approach
Correct subject-verb agreement
approaches
show examples
 to make it easier to understand the lessons.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as
people
Use synonyms
 travel they come across individuals of different nationalities who have a different belief system. Because they get to spend time with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
, they get to know about their cultures, value system
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and thought
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
. Exposure to novel ideas
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them widen their
approach
Use synonyms
 and accept others with their differences.
For example
Linking Words
, with
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
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 in global travel, there is a significant increase in the celebration of festivals like
christmas
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Christmas
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, holi, etc., which
prior
Rephrase
apply
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used to be specific to a particular region.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I totally believe in the fact that travelling outside of one's own nation broadens the acceptance level of
people
Use synonyms
 as it exposes them to
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 set of functional world and tough situations make them
suspectible
Correct your spelling
susceptible
 to
approach
Use synonyms
 things in
new
Change the article
a new
show examples
 way.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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