IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People are becoming too dependent on the internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development.

#people #internet #phone #development
In
this
 burgeoning domain, automation is the use of scientific knowledge for the welfare of all. Presently, masses are becoming dependent on the machinery. Here, I would like to discuss about the positive and negative development of
this
 phenomenon. Numerous points can be mentioned to put the former view, to start from scratch, nowadays folks are busy in earning their bread and butter. They have a very hectic schedule. It is not possible for them to pay the bills by standing in the queue.
Thus
, on the account of the internet, they can easily pay their bills by amazon, and many more applications which helps to do online transactions.
Moreover
, automation provides an opportunity to develop the skills by pursuing online courses while sitting at home.
Hence
, depending on machinery has enormous benefits. Manifold points can be mentioned to endorse the latter view.
Firstly
, depending on internet have negative effects as, youngsters spent too much time on social sites by chatting with their near and dear ones which involves a sedentary lifestyle leads to obesity, eye vision and many more.
In addition
 to it, children become anti-social and they have a lack of skills like social and communication skills.
Hence
, depending on automation has many negative effects. To recapitulate, it is rightly said that excess of everything is bad. Technology is a boon or bane foe us.
Thus
, the use of machinery is good, but within a limit.
Submitted by jasmeetkamboj88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: