IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people use the social media to keep up with people and events. Do you think the advantages of this technology outweighs its' disadvantages

#people #media #events #technology
Some people are of the opinion that the merits of using social platforms and online sites to connect to their loved ones and get updated about the current happenings in the society outweighs its demerits. In
this
 essay, I will examine both sides of arguments and give my own opinion on the topic. One side of the argument believes that the impact of the use of platforms
such
 as Facebook, LinkedIn, WhatsApp and much more helps generate social bonding.
For example
, people who have several families overseas in pursuits of happiness create a common platform on WhatsApp so as to share various aspects of their lives and challenges hoping within
such
 a community, they would find help when need. These people in diaspora tend loss track of their roots if they do not constantly connect to their families and loved ones through the easy almost a plug and play platforms.
In addition
, it
also
 helps educate the public in large scale to keep all nations abreast with the current happenings even in the remotest regions of the world through online sites.
For instance
, many diseases ravaging many communities are constantly being propagated and symptoms are being discussed in other countries of the world to be on the lookout and learn from.
On the other hand
, some others believe
that is
 a medium to propagate selfish interest in a subtle way globally.
For example
, several false news is being publicized daily describing many events that never happened just because they want to promote their upcoming poor ideology.
Furthermore
, the platforms have served as a medium to monitor other people’s lifestyle without knowing and one example is the Facebook. Several data of a billion people are stored up in various data stores used by some agencies for tracking people without their consent.
This
 is not encouraging having to know that your total life history is stored up somewhere by some certain powerful individual and consume it at will. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their advantages and disadvantages, but in my opinion, I would rather agree that the merits of the using these social platforms and online portals for sharing various progressive information and keeping family across the globe more closer absolutely outweighs the negatives.
Submitted by adebayomi.farinde on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: