Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? what makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #possessions #measure #person

A successful person is measured by a parameter called wealth,

in other words

money or materials. Is it a right way to measure a success by wealth?

introduces an alternative

it was insisted by wealthy people?

To begin

with, people who are successful in increasing their monetary value are majorly considered as

achievement

Suggestion

an achievement

For instance

scientist

Suggestion

a scientist

scientists

brought us so many inventions, which we

are using

Suggestion

use

in our daily routine, but they were considered as against religious belief or they were not recognised. Major scientist lived their life in a very simple way, but achieved a lot, still not accepted as a successful personality.

Firstly

, it is a human nature, everyone run behind the money and someone achieved to get

more wealthy

Suggestion

wealthier

and live a royal life, he will be taken as a role model.

Secondly

Submitted by bjbharathkumar on Sat Mar 14 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

133 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Affluence
Materialism
Fulfillment
Well-being
Philanthropy
Societal norms
Personal growth
Economic power
Subjective
Humanitarian

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