IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #society #benefit #contribution
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
No doubt that being valuable by people around you helps you to feel happy and excited to explore
this
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
 more. Mostly, old people feel useless and they have been ignored, especially after retirement and setting at home doing nothing. Recently, studies and researches have proved that senior people can participate in our communities magnificently, which in return will help them to fill their empty
life
Use synonyms
 and maintain their healthy active
life
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss ways that older people could take advantage of them to feel more satisfied and pleased. These days companies everywhere look for subject matter experts, and obviously who can be better than older people to fill these positions. Old people are experts and no doubt they have powerful knowledge and information that any organization would be grateful to have them. Therefor, elderly ones can be hired as experts and consultants in their field. The other quiet equal way to add here is working at charity organizations to support communities. Old people need to entertain their time, so by doing activities that include giving free stuff and smiling will add an extra pleasant to their
life
Use synonyms
. Charity and voluntary works need dedicated people, and old people are the most suited ones for these kind of tasks. In conclusion, seniors are not extra people in our
life
Use synonyms
. We need to make them feel they are still worth and important members in our communities. Finding ways for them to continue their
life
Use synonyms
 is essential for their health. Either hired as experts or work as volunteers might help to negate their feeling about being worthless.
Submitted by alshareef0asma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: