The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in London 2000-2010.

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in London 2000-2010.
The multi-line graph illustrates data on the three
bakeries
Change noun form
bakeries'
show examples
profit on a yearly basis in London, over a decade.
Overall
it is clear that
while
Sofia and Cake Lab
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
rising during the years from 2000-2010 , Buns Cafe had fallen and was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
place in 2010, in spite of dominating ten years ago. Sofia's revenue recorded
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
firm stability within
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
five years at about 58 000.
While
Cake Lab gained a profit
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
more than 60 000.
However
, in the rest of the
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
both trends saw a
rocketing
Replace the word
rocket
show examples
in sales. It is
also
clear that Sofia had income at
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
number
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
about 100 000
in contrast
with
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
two trends .
On the other hand
, the rate of Cake
Lab
Change noun form
Lab's
show examples
income went up steeply from 40 000 to 65 000. In reference to Buns cafe, at the
beginning
Add a comma
,beginning
show examples
it had been
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place with
income
Correct article usage
an income
show examples
rate
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
about 80 000.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
it fell dramatically over a period. It is
also
noticeable that Buns' profit degree started to fall without any recovery from 2004 at about 80 000,
then
at the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
it climbed to minimum from maximum
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
37 000.
Submitted by tukhtakulov98 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however, while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

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