The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in London 2000-2010.
The multi-line graph illustrates data on the three
bakeries
profit on a yearly basis in London, over a decade.
Change noun form
bakeries'
Overall
it is clear that
while
Sofia and Cake Lab where
rising during the years from 2000-2010 , Buns Cafe had fallen and was Correct your spelling
were
on
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
last
place in 2010, in spite of dominating ten years ago.
Sofia's revenue recorded a
firm stability within Remove the article
apply
first
five years at about 58 000. Correct article usage
the first
While
Cake Lab gained a profit at
more than 60 000. Change preposition
of
However
, in the rest of the period
both trends saw a Add a comma
,period
rocketing
in sales. It is Replace the word
rocket
also
clear that Sofia had income at maximum
number Correct article usage
a maximum
at
about 100 000 Change preposition
of
in contrast
with other
two trends . Correct article usage
the other
On the other hand
, the rate of Cake Lab
income went up steeply from 40 000 to 65 000.
In reference to Buns cafe, at the Change noun form
Lab's
beginning
it had been Add a comma
,beginning
on
Change preposition
in
the
first place with Correct article usage
apply
income
rate Correct article usage
an income
at
about 80 000. Change preposition
of
However
it fell dramatically over a period. It is Add a comma
,However
also
noticeable that Buns' profit degree started to fall without any recovery from 2004 at about 80 000, then
at the
end
it climbed to minimum from maximum Add a comma
,end
with
37 000.Change preposition
to
Submitted by tukhtakulov98 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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